Hondo
On Friday I left the convent after 10 days! On Thursday
was a 1 day Sesshihn. Morning by 4 clock, it was, as always, go with zazen. When I went down the stairs to the main hall (Hondo) to go, I could not believe my eyes. It had snowed overnight, about 10 cm of fresh snow! Accordingly, the temperatures were, I guess around 4 degrees in Hondo. Wrapped with 2 blankets, 3 layers of pants and sweaters, went there in the first round. The first hour of 10 on that day. At 9 clock there was breakfast, followed by 30 minute break. It went from 10.15 to 15 clock, then it was over and there was "lunch" and thus the last meal on this day. It has required me everything. Surprisingly, the pain in the knee ware not so bad, worse gnawed the cold, fatigue and the onset of hunger. My "ego" cursed fuerte, especially at lunchtime. But that's the point, sometimes not as usual to give his ego, if it is difficult, unpleasant or otherwise, is but just to sit on.
Nevertheless, I moved to the Sesshin an initial assessment. I found this in the everyday lives of Antaiji, the usual thoughts circles disappear as far as possible. It's just so taken with the processes, lives with and for the Community (Sangha), where there is friction between the individual, of course. But I think it Antaiji is also there.
Despite all that has remained beyond thinking a feeling, a dream left: the world to explore, namely the outer,:) Of course I agreed my "ego" to the same, out of the Siberian cold, little food and the eternal rules. But I did not want to take in response to which a decision. In the evening I spoke about it with others in the Sangha. Opinions were similar, this is a unique opportunity, and even show up resistors if you should continue! I slept about it one night. The next morning at the "monastery cleaning" (Soji), then the decision has been made I will leave Antaiji today! First, I informed Docho San (Muho) about it. He wished me good luck in my travels, said nothing else. What should he say to big, I am solely responsible for this, for practical as well as for my life.
The goodbye was not easy, even if it is "only" had 10 days, it grows on this mountain together easily. The others passed me warmly, and in which one or the other was a bit melancholy to note.
Of the 5 newcomers, is one gone after 4 days, the second at 8, I now after 10th The remaining 2 are ordained monks staying 3 months or longer.
Antaiji Muho and particularly to contribute in me! Especially after our "interview" Which was on Tuesday and went about 1 hour.
It was not an experience like many others, it was very influential as a stamp. Should I ever fully engage in the "Buddha-Dharma" (way) because I know today, together with only Antaiji Muho. I do not think that I will somewhere find a natural and authenischeren Champion!
currently pulls me out of my intuition back into the world, but I am more confident than ever, I take me everywhere you go. At the same time there is also a feeling, a project, an idea that I zueruckkehre again this year after Antaiji, autumn would be offered. But as always I say, who knows what is in 5 or 6 months, even more than ever, I think I know everything that's happening now is 100% at this moment!
And so I try again even to make my daily plan, currently in Osaka, where I was for 2 days rented in a very favorable BUSINESS-Hotel (1.600Y), with free Internet, which is always very fine.
plans it is clear, one of the 5 main islands of Japan, Shikoku, is not so far away from Osaka by ferry, and should be very nice.
a used laptop for better recording to create my impressions of the road. Book a flight from Osaka to Thailand to experience the sun there, cheap, good food and wonderful nature.
These are thoughts and I will now set about to fill it with life. What then is ultimately comes to be seen, and as soon as it is concrete I will then publish it as always here for my interested readers!
The sun is shining, it is mild, Sunday, 18.4. , 10.01 local time, I'm on now and put myself in the bustle of the city ...
